What a voice?? When I hear her I forget all the problems of my life. Her voice makes the entire atmosphere divine. Her beauty reflects her nature…pure and divine” , These were some of the few things you always could hear after Rameswari’s show…
Rameswari was a very great classical singer. She was married to a very rich and famous businessman of the city. She had done her doctorate in classical music. She was a simple woman with a beautiful heart. People called her “the epitome of kindness”..
Those days I worked for ‘SARASWAT’ music academy. This academy arranged different music shows. They called great singers to perform. My job there was to talk with the artists and decide on the details of the show. I had spoken to many great singers.
Now came a chance to meet Rameswari.. Academy had planned to call her. It was the first time we were going to have her in our academy. We were all very excited specially me. The thought of meeting her in person made me immensely happy. I arranged an appointment with her..
She called me at her bungalow. I still remember the date. It was 5th May 1990. On the 4th I kept thinking about what will I wear..how would I start the conversation..how would I greet her??
I had met many people before but Rameswari was different. The day arrived. I was all set to meet her. My friends told “It is just sum professional talk. What is so exciting??”
They never understood what happiness I was going through.
I reached her bungalow. A maid opened the door. Greeted me with a smile, called me in. I could hear Rameswari doing her Riyaaz. Her voice made d entire place so pure. I wished she kept singing n I keep listening to her. After a few minutes she came to me. I touched her feet. She welcomed me with her very nice n pleasing smile.
I could not believe my eyes.. I was just a few steps away from RAMESWARI. She was so beautiful. She was so humble n kind..
I told her about myself, my academy n asked her to come and perform. She agreed. I knew she would agree. She never refused to anyone. There was no negativity in her. We decided the date.
15th May 1990.
I wanted to tell her so many things. I wanted to praise her. I wanted to tell her how great a singer she was, how kind and beautiful she was. But I wasn’t getting enough words which could describe her.
I could just tell her that “Madam, I am your great fan”.
To this she smiled and told me “dear, please call me didi” .
I felt so nice hearing this.
She told me she learned music from her father. Music was the only reason she lived. She said
“I live because I want to sing” ..
I asked her that why hadnt she launched her music. She could make her cassettes. There were so many people who loved to hear her.
On this she gave me a simple answer which had deep meaning.
She said “I don’t sing for money. When I m performing live I connect with each person who is listening to me. I sing so that people get peace in this busy city life. With my singing I make people mentally strong. “
I was so amazed to hear this. There are few people who live for others.. Rameswari was one of them.
When she was telling me this, her maid brought some tea for us. And she dint miss the chance to praise her didi. She said “didi ka gaana sunke to hum saare dukh dard bhul jaate hai” (hearing didi we forget all our sorrows n pains)
I left her home in a few minutes. I told her how happy I was to see her and talk to her. I dint feel like leaving that place but I had to. I knew after this I will never be able to talk to her so closely. I was sad about that.
May 15th arrived. The show was an amazing one. I met her once more. But this time we could not sit and talk. I thanked her for coming. She gave me her blessings. After that we dint meet for months together. I knew we would never meet now.
After a few days on the 20th July when I opened the newspaper I read something which I never expected to happen. The news said “RAMESWARI---THE GREAT CLASSICAL SINGER COMMITS SUICIDE”
I couldn’t read a word further. I missed a heartbeat. My mind stopped working. I could not think of anything. Her songs, her voice, her maid, her shows, her conversation with me..i could hear all these voices. Tears started coming from my eyes. I dint want to accept this bitter truth. I went for her funeral with a wish that she may get up and sing again. I dint want to believe this. When I saw her lying down helplessly I felt like ending my own life. How could Rameswari die???
Everyday in the newspaper, after her death, I read a new story about her suicide. Some papers said that, she committed suicide because of her unhappy married life. Some said that she was addicted to drugs. I knew this was all sheer nonsense.
Finally I got over her death and I decided to find out the reason of her suicide.
I went to her home. The same maid opened the door. The house seemed so sad. Each little thing in the house was missing her. No smile on the maid’s face. She took me in. Rameswari’s husband Mr. Sameer was sitting on the sofa staring at some papers. Her maid told him about me.
I didn’t know what to talk and how to start the conversation. Mr. Sameer asked me why was I there?
Words just came out from my mouth and I asked him “I want to know why Rameswari committed suicide”
He was stunned to hear this question. I pleaded and cried and told him to please tell me.
He handed a letter to me,
The letter was written by Rameswari
“Sameer, I have throat cancer. And because of this my voice is changing day by day.
My voice has been my identification all my life. The only purpose of my life is Music and my Singing.
The doctor asked me to be patient and relax. He said it will take time, but I will be cured but I don’t think so. I can’t live with a different voice and I know I will never get my original voice back.
My blessings and love to all. Be happy.. Spread peace and happiness in every little way you can.
Love,
Rameswari
