Tall, fair, handsome and
intelligent was how I described Sameer, my husband to all my friends and family.
We got married, stayed with Sameer’s parents and had a beautiful life. We had a
bunch of very good friends who we kept meeting every alternate weekend. Those
friends were a very integral part of our lives. Going for drinks, dinner, for
vacations were things we loved doing with them.
Sameer had to travel to
Delhi for about a month. Sameer’s job included a lot of travelling in India.
Though Delhi is a city where you get everything you require, Sameer’s mom and
me were too worried because this was the longest trip.
A lifeless Sameer
returned after 10 days, not listening to us, not seeing us, not reacting to
anything we say. A bad and gloomy phase of my life had just begun.
I joined work post one
month. I loved my work and that was the best way I could keep myself busy. I
met fewer people, worked more, read more. I didn’t meet my friends either.
Though I knew except a
few good friends at office, most people had started gossiping about me dating
my boss. Initially it really hurt me but later I ignored those talks because
arguing and explaining things to every person wasn’t possible.
On my birthday, my
friends surprised me at my home and drove me to a nearby hill station. We were
about 8 of us. There was loud music, there was fun and there was laughter. I
missed Sameer, no one could replace him, but my friends were trying hard and
somewhere I missed being with them.
That was the day I
realized, I was still alive! The trip brought me back to life. I started
smiling, I started going out. I hadn't changed, finally after 8
months, I was being myself – The Deepa who loved to laugh, who loved partying
and who loved having people around her.
Sometime later, my
brother was planning a get together for our old colony friends. I was excited
to see all my childhood friends. I dressed up at my best, and was all set for
the evening that came along. When I checked myself in the mirror, I knew I looked
pretty but suddenly sadness gripped me. I missed Sameer’s naughty smile, I
missed the way he said “You look Hot”. I was missing my husband. I walked out
of the room with tearful eyes.
My in laws were not too
happy seeing me. They suddenly snapped at me and said “Is it really important
to attend this get-together”. I was taken aback with the behavior. A 28 year
old woman basically knew what she was doing, I thought.
Their behavior looked
different towards me since my birthday. The numerous calls when I am out,
arguing with me if I was late irked me. But I thought they cared and were
concerned.
“You should not because you have lost your
husband just about 8 months back”, my mother in law snapped.
“He was your son too;
you seem to have moved on very soon Maa! Attending family weddings, attending kitties
are signs of you moving ahead too, aren't they? And staying home or going out doesn't define how sad I am without my husband” I angrily snapped back!
There was silence and I
realized I had hurt a mothers feelings. But I was not wrong either. I left without waiting for a reply!
My brother picked me up
and I was looking forward to the evening. We met a lot of our friends and most of
them knew about my loss, so no one really spoke about it.
I went to pick up a
drink for myself and heard a woman fighting with her husband. “Rahul, I know she’s
your colony friend but her husband is dead and she’s lonely. Don’t you
understand she is hitting on you? Please keep your distance from her.”
I was shocked, angry and
sad all at the same time. My brother had heard this too; he just held my hand –
a sign of support and love. I wanted to cry, scream at all the people around
me.
I had lost my husband
and I was just trying to cope up with my life! Why was I termed as a woman
looking out for support, wherever she gets it just because she was lonely?
Sameer was my companion;
I was with him not because I needed him but because I loved him! But I was sure
and confident on what I wanted to do with my life now. I had all the right to
be HAPPY!
These people could not
push me back into depression, how much ever they tried.
Women have all the
rights to live their lives fully. We all knowingly, unknowingly give names and
point fingers to many women around us and mainly single women. A divorced
woman, a widow and a girl who doesn't have a boyfriend are all been termed
either as a “Bitch” by all or “Easily Available” for men or as a “Threat” by
other women.
