"Seema, please set your priorities straight. You are married and expected to do things your family agrees on”, screamed Mr. Seth, Seema’s father.
Seema was married at the age of 19. After her graduation, her parents informed her about the marriage plans. This is how the family had been. None of the daughters were allowed to pursue higher studies.
Seema was married to Ajinkya, a S/W engineer. He was an educated guy but with old school of thoughts. He had been very clear with Seema’s family that he wanted his wife to be a home maker and to prioritize family.
They got married in 2005 and life went on as expected
2007:
Ajinkya was hosting a party at his home on the occasion of his promotion. The atmosphere in the house was very positive and happy. Seema had put in all her efforts to host the guests well. She was pleasantly surprised to see her school time friend Naina, in the group of guests who had come. They recognized each other spontaneously and were very happy to meet after so many years. Naina worked in the same company with Ajinkya. Naina had completed her MBA and was currently working as Business Analyst.
After the party, Seema started thinking about the crucial years of her life that she had lost. But at the same time, she also realized it was not too late. She was confident that Ajinkya would agree to either her studying further or at least support her in taking up a job somewhere.
But Ajinkya did not agree on to both the things. In fact he told Seema, he wanted to start a family soon. For Seema, it was very early to be a mother as she was only 21. She was of the opinion; she can easily invest some more years of her life for her own self and then start a family.
The discussions went on for many days but Ajinkya refused to agree. Then was the time, Seema decided to speak to her parents but there were no signs of support from there too.
She was in a crisis now. She did not know what to do! Her in-laws, her husband and her parents, none of them agreed. As most of the other vulnerable women, she gave up.
Things went back to as they were and within a year she gave birth to a cute little baby girl.
“I want my daughter to be a doctor", said Ajinkya once. “I wish my parents had such ambitions for me and I hope my daughter does not marry another Ajinkya”, replied Seema.
Ajinkya was angry hearing this and he left the room immediately. He somewhere realized he was wrong but he did not want to agree.
2012:
Ajinkya met with an accident and is paralyzed for life. The entire savings are spent on his hospitalization. And now Seema has to take care of his medicines, their daughter and the household expenses.
The search for the Job is still on for Seema. Guess it will take some time for her to settle things in her life. Her confidence level has gone down, and with so many responsibilities on her, she is just getting depressed.
When we talk about priorities, we should talk about our own priorities and not others’. Each one has a right to decide on their own priorities.
There will be a lot of women like Seema who give up on their education and careers for people around them. Women need to start standing up for themselves.
If we are confident about ourselves, there is no one who can stop us!
Seema was married at the age of 19. After her graduation, her parents informed her about the marriage plans. This is how the family had been. None of the daughters were allowed to pursue higher studies.
Seema was married to Ajinkya, a S/W engineer. He was an educated guy but with old school of thoughts. He had been very clear with Seema’s family that he wanted his wife to be a home maker and to prioritize family.
They got married in 2005 and life went on as expected
2007:
Ajinkya was hosting a party at his home on the occasion of his promotion. The atmosphere in the house was very positive and happy. Seema had put in all her efforts to host the guests well. She was pleasantly surprised to see her school time friend Naina, in the group of guests who had come. They recognized each other spontaneously and were very happy to meet after so many years. Naina worked in the same company with Ajinkya. Naina had completed her MBA and was currently working as Business Analyst.
After the party, Seema started thinking about the crucial years of her life that she had lost. But at the same time, she also realized it was not too late. She was confident that Ajinkya would agree to either her studying further or at least support her in taking up a job somewhere.
But Ajinkya did not agree on to both the things. In fact he told Seema, he wanted to start a family soon. For Seema, it was very early to be a mother as she was only 21. She was of the opinion; she can easily invest some more years of her life for her own self and then start a family.
The discussions went on for many days but Ajinkya refused to agree. Then was the time, Seema decided to speak to her parents but there were no signs of support from there too.
She was in a crisis now. She did not know what to do! Her in-laws, her husband and her parents, none of them agreed. As most of the other vulnerable women, she gave up.
Things went back to as they were and within a year she gave birth to a cute little baby girl.
“I want my daughter to be a doctor", said Ajinkya once. “I wish my parents had such ambitions for me and I hope my daughter does not marry another Ajinkya”, replied Seema.
Ajinkya was angry hearing this and he left the room immediately. He somewhere realized he was wrong but he did not want to agree.
2012:
Ajinkya met with an accident and is paralyzed for life. The entire savings are spent on his hospitalization. And now Seema has to take care of his medicines, their daughter and the household expenses.
The search for the Job is still on for Seema. Guess it will take some time for her to settle things in her life. Her confidence level has gone down, and with so many responsibilities on her, she is just getting depressed.
When we talk about priorities, we should talk about our own priorities and not others’. Each one has a right to decide on their own priorities.
There will be a lot of women like Seema who give up on their education and careers for people around them. Women need to start standing up for themselves.
If we are confident about ourselves, there is no one who can stop us!
very true toucing story.
ReplyDeletekeep it up...
ReplyDeleteWhen you choose to see setbacks as opportunities your whole perspective shifts toward the positive. In its self, the ability to create this shift instills confidence. I like the saying from the movie The Ultimate Gift, “I’ve lost everything 3 or 4 times, it’s the perfect place to start.“ Everyone fails to produce their intended result sometimes, that’s how we know that it’s time to adjust our course. It is not a reflection of our value as a person, so don’t take it personally or let it rattle your self-esteem. If you feel that tendency, go for a walk and practice steps 1 and 2. Going through the actions will help restore your internal feelings of confidence
ReplyDeletePragnaju
visit Niravrave
Vidhi
ReplyDeleteThis is reality...
Seema is victim of old thoughts
I am surprised that you are writting this after 3 months...
I beleive you can find stories every corner of your life..
Please have Literature as one of the most liked priorities.. especially when you can through light in new generation..
Thanks
Keep writting...
keep observing and let your thoughts flow free...
Vijay uncle
Very true...even today when we stand at the 21st century there are families who might be very rich and well to do ,but when it comes to letting their daughter in laws study or work and make their career,they are completely against it.We have such hypocrites in our society.
ReplyDeleteAs you have already said, girls need to take a stand for themselves,that is the only way they can move ahead in life.But also in certain cases when girls start taking decisions for what they want in their life,they are abused,tagged as rude and shameless.These people who abuse are not only the in laws but sumtyms also the girls parents.Also the society plays an important role in this situations,where they are the ones to add fuel to fire.Hence due to sometimes society pressure too the girl steps back.
Its a vicious circle. Hence unless the girl starts acting like guys, who care a damn about anyone ,she wont be able to live a life that she dreamt of.
Vidz - where do you get inspiration from for these stories? Quite interesting. Like the way your visualise and give life to your characters. Thanks for sharing your thougthts on one of the most important issues of our society.
ReplyDeleteSo, I have grown up with 7 woman in my family (mom + sisters) and your story does make absolute sense. Ours is a patriarchial society and this story is a story of most of the woman in countries like ours. But believe, its both men and women who are equally responsible for this. Hence, we need more Vidhis to ensure that there are no Seemas.
Keep writing,
Cheers.
Needs a change in the mindset..there has to be a very open dialogue between the partners /spouses...as you rightly mentioned life do take a turn...one should be ready/anticipate the scenarios...
ReplyDelete